Nightmares and monster, oh my.

I'm way too old to wake up in the middle of the night after a terrifying dream and be afraid to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. 

I'm also way too old to turn on a light in order to fall back to sleep. 

Summertime Questions

Am I too old to want to play with the 7 year-olds in my neighborhood that have Super Soakers? 

Am I dating myself by calling them Super Soakers? 

What if I said I wanted to be the one to use the Super Soaker 50?

What if I told you that it would make me feel better after not finding the Karnival popsicles at the grocery store?

Wait, am I too old for those too?

Tattoos

I am way too old to draw on my self & my flip flops when I am bored at work- remember when "ink poisoning" used to be a legitimate fear?

Tiny Pancakes and Fake Scrambled Eggs

I am too old to have a long, detailed dream about my college's Sunday brunch food.

(But wow do I have a craving now...)

The bird

I'm WAY too old to be flipping the bird at some random high school kid who doesn't know how to drive and thinks it is acceptable to go 60mph in a 25, while cutting me off and making me spill coffee on my white skirt. 

But I did it anyway.

thinking I will used this one day in an epic argument:

"If you were a dinosaur,

you'd be a

bitch-a-whoreus."

P.S. I am way to told to be using the word "epic" at any time, other than when I'm mocking people that use the word "epic."

email addresses containing my hobby.

I just changed (updated, if you will...which you won't, once you read...) my email address. I wanted gmail. Kind of? I liked yahoo but my emails were frequently sent to people's spam folder. Not cool, or professional, so I changed it. My first name dot my last name was taken (BY WHOM?! Who are you?! Maybe I'll email this person), so I tried, unsuccessfully, to think of a better name.
In 7th grade, my email was iliketoridehorses_andhaveacrushonjustin.hotmail.com
Now it's alivia(dot)dance(@)gmail.com. I mean, it's not that bad, right? I teach dance....so it's...professional.




I'm going to drown myself in Lucky Charms and Sour Patch Kids.